A few weeks ago, while I was having lunch the commons, one of my fellow senior friends alerted me that that day was the last to order your graduation cap and gown online. Panicked, I rushed back to my room to order the items.

The green cap and gown required for our graduation day cost a total of $44. It seems to only fitting that our graduation attire be the color of money. Unsettled, I decided to do some research about the pricing of these items (which admittedly I should have done before the purchase). A quick Google search found that similar caps and gowns range from $14-$50 across different retailers. A fellow colleagues later informed me that the same items can be bought from Goodwill for $4. Not $44. $4.

That cost is compiled with the $100 charge just to register for graduation, which automatically billed to all seniors, under the label “graduation fee.” These fees feel like the expensive icing on the pricey cake that has been our institution for the last four years. These charges, along with my discovery of the cheaper options that do exist out there, made me think of everything we pay for here at Stetson. The community bathrooms in Smith, the mojo chicken in the commons, the 30 parking spots for 3,000 students, the twin beds in Nemec, the three working dryers in UVA, and, of course, The Rocks.

Excluding the price of tuition (after all, you can’t truly put a price on education), I broke our university expenses in terms of the things we could be buying instead:

1. Housing: $3,500 – $4,500 per semester

Stetson offers a wide range of prices for its “luxurious” residence options. From the cheaper freshman dorms which stretch to a whopping 100 square feet (without taking into account two twin beds, two desks, two dressers, and two walk-in closets) to the high-end UVA apartments with walls as thin as paper and an A/C which is louder than an Afroman concert.

So let’s take a happy medium of $4,000, and see what else we can buy with it. Well, for starters, you could get 4,000 tacos at Garcia’s on a Tuesday (I’m still outraged that beers there are $1.75 now by the way). Or if you’re in the mood for a trip, at this time of year, an Orlando-Paris two-way ticket can be bought for $585. The remaining $3,415 can be spent on clothes, baguettes, a beret hat, and a picture of you “holding” the Eiffel tower.

Should you insist on using that money to house yourself in Deland, off-campus housing options in the area range from $500-$850 a month ($2,000-$3,400 per semester). This price is for 2-3 bedroom houses, including utilities. Given the fact that this price provides you with your own house, bedroom, bathroom, and living space (without an RA writing you up for having three Smirnoff Ices in your fridge) the whole “mandatory to live on campus until senior year” thing becomes pretty aggravating.

2. Meal Plans: $1,425 – $3,350 per semester

This range is a bit larger, as it goes from the really basic 10 meals a week, to the unlimited meal plan (commuter meal plans were not taken into account, but they are available for $325 or $755). There are a couple of interesting points regarding the whole meal plan system: first, freshmen and sophomore students living on campus must choose one of the meal plans offered. Most underclassmen students live in halls which don’t really accommodate preparing your own meals, hence the need for a meal plan. However, the commons does not bode well with some (or many) students, and other alternative dining options are limited. Second, there are limitations on all these meal plans, even the so-called unlimited one. While the commons has improved by now offering a missed meal option, and it extended the dinner time period; the constraints on when you’re allowed to use YOUR meals is annoying and problematic.

The average of the five meal plans offered to on-campus students is $2,418. So, what could we do with this? Well, you could buy 14 day passes for Universal Studios (both parks, since you can’t pass on the Hogwarts Express experience, can you?). Do you have 13 friends? Or just two weeks with nothing to do? Look into it! But how will you get to the park? Well, you’re in luck because The Minivan Store in Winter Park is selling a white 2005 Chrysler PT Cruiser Base, with a mere 150,000 miles on it, for only $2,200. Ditch the friends, get one ticket, and cruise your way to Orlando in your hot new ride. Or you can wait 35 minutes for a chicken sandwich from Johnny Rockets. Up to you.

If you insist on using the money you spend on your meal plan, on food, that can be done, too. According to Numbeo, the world’s largest database of user contributed data, the average grocery price in our area, per day, is $10.84. This price is for a 2,400 calorie diet, and includes dairy (milk, cheese), bread, rice, meat, chicken, fruit and vegetables (for one person). Per a 31 day month, that totals at $336, which gives us $1,344 for the whole semester. Obviously, prices may increase, depending on where you buy, and when adding additional expenses (cooking materials/equipment). However, this price is for three meals a day, and is still cheaper than the cheapest meal plan, which offers 115 meals a semester and 250 hatterbucks (just over one meal a day for the semester). Is the extra money really worth the two large pizzas and a box of garlic twists from Domino’s that your hatterbucks can get you? Honestly, maybe.

3. Student Life Fee: $180 per semester. Graduation, Cap and Gown: $144 total

Okay, so, I need some help with this one. Stetson claims that the student life fee “is used to provide students the opportunity to attend various lectures, musicals, concerts, plays, etc. without charge,” according to Stetson University General Information. While I have no problem with the cultural/physical activities and resources that we have here on campus, the wording of this description bothers me. We pay our student life fee to be able to use these resources for “free.” We get charged, to get something “without charge.” Do you see what I’m saying?

Anyway, let’s see what a graduating senior could have done with these expenses instead. The total $324 spent that semester on your graduation attire, cultural credits, #SpringFitFam, and an Instagram Boomerang of your legs, the sun emoji and the Hollis pool, could actually help throw quite the party. For instance, to pick up a large Chick-Fil-A nugget tray (200 count), you’d have to pay $69.50. So you could buy just about 600 nuggets to cater your guests. But what’s a good party without some alcohol? Well, for a mere $3 you could purchase a fine-brewed Four Loko. With $324 to spend, that would come up to 108 of those bad boys. You’ll probably be able to serve them in a fountain. A Four Loko Fountain (patent pending). Or, if you’re more of a sweet tooth kind of person, you could get 60 cups of frozen yogurt from Berryville on Weightless Wednesday. My suggestion: 200 nuggets, 36 Four Lokos, and 20 cups from Berryville. Party of the year.

But if you’re still keen on not looking like the odd one out at graduation, know that gradshop.com offers a cap, gown and tassel for $14.95 (when bought in bulk). I don’t know how much help this is, as most seniors have already bought their items. However, maybe there’s a junior, or a sophomore, or a freshman with a really good memory, who will remember this piece and know that they don’t have to succumb to Stetson’s book store for one more final time in their college career. Grab a few friends, do some searching online, and save yourself some money in the process.

And if you need any ideas about how to spend the money you save, don’t hesitate to hit me up.

*Addition charges may apply.

 Written by Eyal Cohen