I’m curled up in my white fuzzy Walmart chair behind my very well-placed curtains, staring at my first statistics assignment while my roommate watches videos on full blast from her bed. There might be a party going on, although I wouldn’t know yet because it’s not like I really know people who actively “party.” My Instagram feed shows all of the people in a Snapchat group I was added to before school began, hanging out with their new friends. So far, college was not going the way that I felt like it should.

I’d been told over and over again that college is the “best years of your life”, and that I’d make my “forever friends” and ride off into the sunset with the people who will be in my wedding. I’d show up to school, become best friends with my roommate, and then I’d meet the perfect group of people my first few weeks and live a flawless life full of Pop-Tarts and late nights binging TV shows. 

“FRESHMAN YEAR IS ALLOWED TO SUCK”

Freshman year is allowed to suck. Sometimes you get back to your dorm and you snack heavily because you’re stressed about your classes, you look in your mirror while changing into pajamas and can’t stop thinking about the freshman 15, and you think about who you’ve been hanging out with so far, wondering if they’re your supposed “people.” You’re out of Tide Pods for laundry. You might feel like you should be partying more, like in the movies, but also maybe you’re partying just the right amount and you should be taking day trips with your newfound squad every afternoon. Not being where you’d like is okay, and it happens to more people than you think.

College probably won’t be exactly what you’ve been told it will be. Maybe it’s taking longer to find friends who you feel actually fit you, or maybe your roommate is not what you expected. It takes some time to feel truly comfortable, and you might feel unbalanced for a while. It’s okay to be freaking out, and it’s okay if everything takes much longer to be stable and have some semblance of a secure routine. 

The good news? Even though all these things took a while to happen for me, and my freshman year wasn’t how I expected at all, I eventually found my footing. At this point, I feel like I’m existing in somewhat of a quintessential college experience, and hopefully, you will too. Just give it some time.